Motherhood

The Sisterhood of Motherhood!

Yesterday for me was a mom’s worst nightmare. The tiniest Smo had, against my better judgement, a piece of string cheese. You know, the cheese with all that dairy she’s not supposed to have… yeah… I’m quite the glutton for punishment, apparently! Any parent out there that has a kid with a milk allergy knows where this is going. For the rest of you would-be empathizers, we had a little case of vomit-the-rest-of-the-day-all-over-my-mom-osis, and yes, literally- All. Day. Long.

Boob milk? Blagghhhh…

Applesauce? Yaaahghhhhhh.

GRAPES? Blupakahhhh

BANANAS? Yumm–ohaghhh

PEDIALYTE?! Anything?!!

AHGhdiofheaoiwehfeadlkfjdlfjwghhhhaghhhhhhhhh

You get the gist.

Before I move forward, I have to back up. I need to paint this picture..Because it wasn’t as soon as the cheese hit her mouth that we had to perform a gastrointestinal exorcism. It was after we had raided the fridge and fell asleep in my sister’s recliner for an hour. She finally come home to find us clonked out like Goldilocks and the two little blonde-headed rascals and proceeded to kick me out of her chair. Moving to the couch was the last thing I remember before Tiny Smo sprawled out on top of me, boob-in-mouth and comatose. Now picture it: I’m so far gone to Sleepytown, that on any other day it would’ve taken me an hour to come back. There we are in all our snoozing glory when Tiny Smo fidgets juuust right… and out comes a line of chunks, heave after heave. She’s spewing on the couch, herself–like everything in the path was down for the count. And I’m over here in a haze trying to piece together what’s happening. (In my Kevin Hart voice)…noooo… I wasn’t ready!  

Big sis said later that I didn’t even flinch, I just sat there and stared at the baby- Which I totally believe. Blind as a bat, I’m sitting there squinting at this little bath bomb, thinking, “Is this a dream? Is this kid really throwing her weight in puke up all over me right now or am I just peeing my pants.. Why is there so much? Someone turn off her water valve… It just keep comi—”
“MALLORY! GET OFF MY COUCH, SHE’S PUKING EVERYYYYWHEREEEEE!!!!”

Ok, so yeah.. Not a dream… Maybe.. Definitely a surreal one if it is… Hippity Hop all the way to the Baby Boiler (shower, either way) and as I’m slowly coming back to reality, my nightmare has been slightly derailed by possibly the best sister ever. Instead of telling us to pack our crap and hit the highway like any sane person would, she told us to stay. To get in the shower. She ran around like a mad woman for a good fifteen minutes grabbing towels, cleaning puke (poor girl..), running water, doing all the mama hen duties, etc etc. In the moments following, I was just incredibly thankful that I wasn’t alone, which yes, I know, seems so dramatic.. But it made that craptastic mom moment easier to deal with. To handle what was happening without losing my mind in the process.

Reader’s Digest Version, We spent the rest of the day puking, nursing, changing clothes, sleeping– in no particular order. Every blanket my sister owns was used and christened by Tiny Smo’s stomach contents that day. Poor Trisha. Poor previously-non existent laundry pile… All the girl wants is her house to stay clean for more than 20 minutes and she had US there!

Finally the end of the day is rolling around. Everyone is tired of swimming in puke and showering for the 4th time, and I feel so bad I’ve stayed and she’s STILL puking. Discouraged and thinking, “well maybe it isn’t from her piece of string cheese.. Maybe I should get her away from her cousins in case it’s a virus”, I tell Big Sis I’m going home to fester in the vomit and let her have some peace. She adamantly says I’m not going anywhere. We are eating dinner and it will all be fine. She’s suggests we stay the night. Again, I’m overwhelmed by her. And the generosity she has exhumes. How could I ever be that kind of mom? Or person in general? And how did we ever make it without one another? (Though I feel like what I do for her pales in comparison for what she does in return!)

About that time, she remembers there’s pedialyte in the cabinet. Of course there’s pedialyte in the cabinet. I often joke to her how she’s excessively organized and over prepared for whatever life throws at her- torn clothes, uninvited guests, puking kids. Well, jokes on me because it always comes into my favor. Tiny Smo doesn’t even come up for air as she’s drinking this Pedialyte. We are all gathered in the kitchen enjoying the kids as dinner is on the stove… and we hear a gurgle. We hear a “bloop bloop”… you know it’s coming.

Ta-Da! At this point in the day, I didn’t even flinch. Just cover me, child. I couldn’t care less. It’s not like I could have moved fast enough, anyway. After the day we’d had, there was every reason in the book to be upset. A house that was no longer clean. A sink that would be finding more dishes soon. The towering laundry pile of blankets and hard-to-clean pillows… And now, a kitchen that would need to see a mop once again. The purge splashed so forcefully to the kitchen floor that it sounded just as it would when a woman’s water breaks in the movies.

Call it insanity.. Call it what you will. I death stare into Big Sis and scream, “Oh, Lawdy! My watah broke!!! Hep me Lawd!!!” Big sis and I laughed hysterically, until our eyes were filled with tears. I couldn’t catch my breath. She was clinging to the fridge to not fall over. My stomach hurt from laughing. After what seemed like ages, I stood in the pool of vomit as we attempted to compose ourselves. Big sis took off through the house once again.. but this time the laughter bellowed through the house and for a moment, laughter had broken us free from the strain that can be motherhood. I know I couldn’t do this alone. Today I realized that, as mothers, we’ve come so much closer as sisters. We are both winging this parenting thing most days, but I’ll tell you, she does it flawlessly and it’s inspiring. And no one will understand where you’ve come from, where you’ve been, and where you’re going like a sister can.
As she searched for more towels and clothes, I stood there with Tiny Smo, snuggling, smiling, puke running down both of us…And as she come trudging back in with a towel… all I could see was our Grandma. The Grandma who instilled so much goodness in her. The one who shines so brightly through her granddaughter and her very being..it makes me want to cry.

Our Grandma would be so in love with this moment. Our children, playing together. Sisters, reunited with a bond stronger than ever. Mothers, coming together to support one another.

The Sisterhood of Motherhood!

Hope y'all enjoyed our Guest Writer Mallory Smothers! We hope to feature more post from her in the future!

Motherhood

Motherhood is a Journey

When I was a little girl, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted kids. I can remember outgrowing my baby dolls fairly young. 

I didn’t dream of weddings and babies and all that most little girls dream of. 

I didn’t really want to take care of others. I didn’t want the responsibility of having to teach and train another person to function in society. Especially since I felt I was failing at it so miserably. 

Fast forward to a few years later…

I’m being wheeled through a hospital puking what feels like my guts up! I’m grabbing trash cans as we make our way down the halls. I’m in the most physical pain I’ve ever been in in my life! The nurses are helping me change. I’m like a cd on repeat mumbling “I can’t do this” to myself! 

Within 3 hours, I’m holding my baby girl (whom I was CONVINCED was a boy) in my arms, marveling at the fact that I am in deed now a mother! 

I drug my husband to every birthing and  parenthood prep class that hospital had to offer! I was going to go into this motherhood thing fully prepared!! (I wasn’t!) 

My little girl and I figured this thing out. I learned to be a mother to this perfectly created being! She learned to roll and talk and crawl and walk! I was teaching her things! Important life changing things! 

She learned to feed herself with a spoon, and to say yes ma’am and no ma’am and please and thank you. She learned to say she’s sorry and to ask for forgiveness. She learned about forgiveness and about God! I felt like I was on top of this motherhood thing!! 


Soon life threw me a curve ball! A blessing in disguise really. My older handicap brother was in need of a new home. He needed someone with less health problems to take care of him, someone who could focus more on him! 


I grew up with Joe, he’s always been there! We didn’t even talk too much into detail about it when Henry and I agreed. I mean how hard could it be? I grew up helping take care of Joey! 

Well let me tell you! There’s a huge difference between helping take care of your brother as his sister and caring for him as his main care giver! It became my job to make some of his bigger decisions in life. It feel to me to make sure he was staying safe. We switched some rolls, I wasn’t just the little sister anymore. I was who was going to make sure he thrives in life! Help him not lose the life skills my mom and aunts helped him learn. When he was a baby the doctors didn’t think he’d ever walk or talk! And boy let me tell you he talks (especially when he doesn’t want to do something!) 


I found myself figuring out things I didn’t think I would have to learn at 22! Like all the behind the scenes stuff for his insurance and what not. 

I’ve had 2 more babies since Joey came to live with us! And I can’t tell you how many times he’s been mistaken as my husband because he goes everywhere with us! (Can you say awkward?) 


But I have to say it’s been amazing watching him and his nieces and now nephew grow together! Watching the child like excitement on his face as well as theirs when they do things like play in the pool or on the trampoline. Listening to my youngest daughter ask Joey to hold her hand as they walk through the sand to the lake! 

Motherhood is a journey! It often catches us by surprise with some of life’s curve balls! And for a journey I wasn’t sure I really even wanted to take, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else but right here right now! 

Xoxo

Drena 
Enjoy this pictures of Joey with his date at the special needs prom last month!! 

DIY, Food

DIY: Pie


I’ve had a bunch of people ask me what my secret is to my pie creations.  I’ll be honest there is no secret. 

 

When I was a freshman in high school Ihad the  opportunity   to live with the amish.  This is where my love for making pie began.  My amish mom made a pie for supper one evening and pie filling as well.  This was so interesting to me as my family didn’t make pies growing up.  No, I was not sheltered but we just didn’t eat or make pie.  

My love for pie has grown over the years and within the last year has really taken off. I love to make them for potlucks, dinner, and just for fun.    I have found stock piling my pie filling and even having crust in the freezer makes for a quick dessert. 

I’ve since tweeked my recipe and found my favorites.  Pie really isn’t has hard as it sounds.  I make mine in my food processor!!  

Recipe: 

2 1/4 cup flour
2/3 cup COLD butter
1/2 tsp salt
pinch sugar
1/3 cup cold water

I throw everything into my food processor  but the water.  I process until it’s crumbly then I slowly add in the water.  
after the dough has come together in a lump I will use it right away or you can chill your dough.  This makes enough dough for a double crust pie and probably a little extra.  

To bake I start single crust pies low at 350 degrees but for double crust I start at 425.  

I often make a few batches and freeze them.  I freeze them in single lumps.
 

I love being creative with my crust tops!!  I always felt pie tops were always so boring so I started looking around for cookie cutters or ways to make pie tops more fun.  

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B013JEIVHW/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00OT9NJ88/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PXDV7YC/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

These are my favorite cookie cutters for pie.  

From here I just create.  I sometimes have an image in my mind but I just start cutting and placing them.  
The trick to having such beautiful tops is making sure everything is cooked evenly!!  The bottom crust, filling and top crusts.  It’s hard.  

I’m still working on cook times.  

 
  Tips:  

  • Using COLD ingredients like butter, water  helps keep your dough from shrinking in the oven.
  • When rolling your dough out put the dough between 2 pieces of wax or parchment paper so you dont have to dirty your counter and have a nice handle on the dough.  
  • Watch the pie. Don’t leave and expect it to bake like a cake.  Check back make sure it isn’t burning around the edges
  • Place a pan under the pie for catching spills.
  • Have fun making it.  It shouldn’t be stressful.
  • Practice. If you want perfection in a pie make a bunch. experiment with baking time, ingredients in the dough.  

I hope you enjoy what knowledge I have about pie making.  Would love to hear your tips and tricks on baking!

Asenath XoXoX… 

Food, Uncategorized

Kids’ Favorite Macaroni Salad!

In our house on of our go to meals is Macaroni salad! I make this a few times a month, and often will just eat it for supper. 

It’s great for when it’s so hot out you just don’t wanna cook or eat hot food! Growing up in the south, that was a regular thing. 

My kids love it! 

You will need:

  1. Macaroni noodles
  2. Tuna
  3. Mayo
  4. Cucumber
  5. Tomatoes
  6. Hard boiled eggs optional 

Start by boiling your noodles to your preferred doneness and in a separate pan hard boil your eggs.  When your noodles are strain and run under cold water til noodles are cool to the touch. Add noodles to large mixing bowl. Open and drain your can of tuna. Add tuna to noodles. I prefer tuna in water but you are free to use whatever you’d like! (Can chicken works also). Dice as many cucumbers and tomatoes as you would like.( For a 16oz bag of macaroni I use 2 medium tomatoes and 1 cucumber). Add diced cucumbers and tomatoes to the noodles. Add diced hard boiled eggs if you have them. Add enough mayo to lightly coat the salad and stir! You are welcome to season with whatever you’d like! I like to use season salt and garlic with a few pinches of sugar as my husband like his on the sweeter side! 


Enjoy! 

Uncategorized

It’s only an accident.

My week started out like any other week. Church on Sunday. Woke up Monday to go walk at 5am.  Came home and got ready for the day.  Brice had had a reaction around his underwear line so I decided to call the doctor and take him in to make sure he didn’t have any poison ivy or reaction to his pull-ups.  Monday’s are my days to work at an assisted living facility so we decided to go up early and eat lunch at daddy’s work between places.  Celie was clingy Monday and was acting weird so I gave her the option to come with me or go with grandma.  She chose to go to grandma’s.  We headed for town.  Dropped Celie off at grandma’s and went to Iowa City.  Brice didn’t have poison ivy.  YAY!!!  I’m extremely allergic to it and so I’m always happy when it’s not poison ivy.   

After the Doctor we grabbed lunch at and went to Craig’s work to eat there.  It pored rain for the time we were there.  We left and headed to the assisted living facility where I do hair.  I was only going for a bit because I needed to get Brice home and on his medicine so he’d stop itching his rash and I needed to go to target, I thought, and get some last minute things before we headed to the zoo this weekend.  

I finished my appointment and we left.  As I left I called my brother’s girlfriend to see if she wanted to go with me and that i’d come pick her up.  I got in the car and left.  I was driving in an area I’ve driven many times.  I was comfortable.  Maybe too comfortable.  

I turned right onto the main road.  Heading towards my friend’s house.  I remembered my watch had been charging all morning and decided I would put it on.  I glanced down for maybe a second and when I looked up I realized I was going through a red light.  I thought to myself “whoops, hope no one is driving through….” BAM!!!   I hit a crossing car.  My air bags deployed. We spun. 

I don’t really remember how I reacted except I needed to get out of the car fast.  I turned around yelled at Brice to unbuckle.  I quickly hoped out and opened the sliding door and pulled Brice out.  Here’s the scary part.  Sometimes we let Brice sit in Celie’s booster seat and today was one of those days.  He does really well and I didn’t see why not.  Yes, I know dumbest idea ever. And now I know why.

Brice hoped out and we ran over to the other car.  There was a young kid driving, 16.  He couldn’t open his door so I told him to go out the other.  We both made sure we were all okay.  We were all okay just shooken up.  We were right by the police station so two police officers came out and helped us.  We exchanged all our information. Tow trucks were called.  Family members were called. 

After everything was figured out we met with the police officer.  I was issued a ticket for running a red light. I was nauseous, scared, sore, embarrassed.  My pride was definitely bruised.

Here’s what the whole point of this post I hope helps with.  Sometimes we make big mistakes.  Sometimes we become distracted while driving.  Let’s work on not being distracted while driving. I know as mom’s this is so hard.   This has even shown to be hard since Monday as we drive to day to day places.  I decided to sit down and talk to my kids.  I explained to them why it’s so important for mom to watch the road and not worry about what there picture looked like or how they looked in their sun glasses until we were in a safe place.  Yes, i still have to make comments about waiting until we stop or get to our destination.  My kids are getting better at waiting and are more patient.  

James 1: 2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” 

There is so much of God’s work behind this whole situation and I could go on for days about how and why but I remembered 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  You may not see that running a red light and totaling our new minivan a God thing but believe me.  This could have turned out far worse.  No one was injured.  We don’t have a car payment anymore.  Brice was fine.  I’m sore but nothing but time will heal that.  God was so good to us that day.  We can’t help but praise Him for his faithfulness.

So please put away the distractions.  Talk to the kids about being distracting in the car.  And be safe!!

Asenath Shetler XoXoX…

Uncategorized

More than Just a Mom…

I struggled for years with what I wanted to do for myself in life. 

I often felt like I lost a piece of who I was in the day to day task of life. Between laundry, dishes, changing dirty diapers, and making sure everyone is healthy and fed, I felt like I had no idea who I was as Drena any more. 

My husband challenged me to find a hobby, to simply find something I truly enjoyed! So I began learning to sew. His momma showed me a few things, but for the most part what I know I’ve taught myself. 

I began joining sewing groups on facebook. I wanted to learn more! I was in love with making things for my little girls! It was in my sewing groups that I was introduced to the magical world of vinyl! You see there were all these women who were putting these cool images on shirts and I was fascinated! So I dug a little and figured out they were using cricuts and silhouettes to do! So I joined a ton of groups about those machines!! 

I spent almost a year stalking those groups, learning what I could! Playing with the design software, and begging my husband to get me one!! Finally during a really great cyber Monday sale we found a deal we couldn’t pass up! 

I began making things for friends! Things they were sharing photos of, such as car decals! Which lead to others asking me to make them things! I never expected my hobby to turn into a business, but it did!!

Now my girls help me work, and I get to create special items that mean so much to others! I’ve become a registered LLC in Iowa, and my husband and I are closer than ever, especially since he’s my business advisor! 

I am happier, busier, but definitely happier! Not because I have a business, but because I’m doing something I enjoy, for myself! I feel like I get to be mom and I get to be Drena as well! 

Xoxo,

Drena 

Food

Food is NOT my enemy!

Food has always been a comfort to me. I always turn to food to calm myself or when i’m bored give me something to do.  I crave sugar like it’s the only thing on earth to survive.  I knew I needed a change. I’ve needed a change for a long time.  I had a few friends who started this meal plan and lost weight and they weren’t restricted on food, so I did some research.  

It’s called Metablast Nutrition.  I don’t know how to explain it exactly but it’s called phase eating.  It helps to boost your metabolism naturally by the way you eat.  It’s not a diet, it’s a life style change.  I’ve tried meal plans, diets, cutting food, counting calories and nothing helped. I’ve exercised and sweat my butt off to lose weight. I’ve deprived myself.  

On this plan I don’t feel deprived.  Yes, my first week was bad.  I was on detox.  It took a whole week!  But I had been putting such yucky food into my body it needed to get out.  Yes that part wasn’t easy but now I crave the good things.  I’ve detoxed my house. All the food I would binge eat or crave are gone.  I don’t leave candy around or cookies.  

I don’t deprive myself of sweets anymore.  I have alternatives and I’d like to share with you some of my favorite alternatives and maybe spike your interest.  A change like this needs to consume you in order to achieve.  After just 2 weeks I knew this was for me and it WAS a lifestyle change.  

So the meals consist of three phases.  monday and tuesday being your focus on good carbs, like fruit and brown rice.  Wednesday and Thursday are protein and veggies, and Friday through sunday are mostly protein and veggies with a little carbs.  You can eat unlimited veggies which can be hard for me.  I have a new go to for my veggies.  Gluten and Dairy Free veggie dip.  Yes may not sound appetizing but it tastes just like regular veggie dip.  On this plan you don’t eat dairy or gluten so finding a dip that is dairy free is hard.  I also am lactose intolerant so dairy filled dips can sometimes affect me.  

This dip is so easy and yummy!  This dairy free dip is made with Mayo, Coconut Milk, chives, dill, garlic powder, onion powder, parsley, salt, and pepper.  

1/3 cup Coconut Milk, full-fat canned
1/2 tsp of Chives, dried
1/2 tsp of Dill, dried
1/2 tsp of Garlic Powder
1/2 tsp of Onion Powder
1 tsp Parsley
1/4 tsp of salt
1/4 tsp of pepper

mix all the ingredients

PB2 Cookie Recipe
Preheat oven to 350
1 cup dry PB2 (I prefer the chocolate PB2, but you can always use original and add a heaping tablespoon of cocoa powder)
1/3 cup of pyure (unless you’re using original PB2… then you bump up to 1/2 cup)
1 egg
Mix all this up and add some water until you get to the consistency of cookie batter. Scoop out cookies (makes 10-12) with a scoop and throw into the oven for about 10 minutes.
I like mine a little underbaked because I store them in the fridge and they taste like fudge to me! They store easily for a week. (maybe longer, but I have never had any left to test…lol)

The Shrinker-Chai Tea Sipper

The tea: Oolong.  You can use a regular chai but oolong is a raises your thermogenic temperature and increases your calorie burn. Brew as strong as you like it.  2-6 bags per 32 oz.   Studies have shown about 67 calories can be burned during digestion per bag of oolong tea.  

Concentrate: 
I make this a triple batch and store it in the fridge.

8oz almond milk
1-2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp caramel extract (optional)
1 Tbsp Truvia 
1/2 -1 tsp cinnamon
2-3 PINCHES cayenne pepper 
(the first time i made this I used 2-3 TSP DO NOT DO THAT!!)

Blend!! key word BLEND!  I’ve blended and also shook in a mason jar and blending blends the spices better than just shaking.  

Now to make the Drink

4 oz of concentrate 
fill with ice
Fill with Tea until desired.  
I use a quart mason jar when I make mine so i fill it full.

As you can see I’m not deprived of food.  It’s truly a mind set.  Yes I have my days where all I want is a fat cheese burger and fries but then I pay for it.  I see changes in my energy, my sleep, my emotions.  I really do like this plan.  After I complete the first month they have a rule of being able to eat out also. You can do 90/10.  90% on track, 10% out to eat.  I do feel now I have a better understanding of what I can and can’t eat when I’m out so I make wiser choices on what I eat.  This is exciting to me.  Food was always a comfort and Id choose wrongly and I’d feel terrible.  Now food is not my enemy.  I can say no to the fries or the extra bacon cheese burger.  

I hope you have a fun filled weekend!  Tonight is Pizza night!! yep I get to eat PIZZA. It’s gluten free, and dairy free but it’ll be yummy!!

Asenath  XoXoX…

DIY

DIY Detangler Spray! 

I’m excited about this diy! 


If you have girls with lots of hair like my wild headed children, you’ll love this too! 

We use so much detangling spray on our everyday life, since both of my girls were blessed with full heads of long, curly, hair! 

Here’s what you need! 

  1. Coconut oil
  2. Essential Oils of your choice
  3. Hot water
  4. Spray bottle


Melt your coconut oil down to liquid form. We used 2 tbls of coconut oil. Pour into spray bottle. Add in 2-4 drops of essential oils. Fill the rest of the way with water, leaving enough room to shake! Which leads me to the next step! SHAKE! 


And now your new detangler spray is ready to use! Enjoy!!! 

Motherhood

When you feel so alone.

Ladies, I want to start by saying YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.  

This week has been oddly a very lonely week for myself.  I’ve really struggled with not having people to do things with. I see my friends around me celebrating and having fun.  I literally came home and cried because we don’t have many friends that come or we do things with.  I understand that right now is a time in our life where we are all busy raising our families.  I do truly believe God has placed me where I am but I’ll just say “God are you teaching me to make more friends? or is this where I am to be? Raising my kids and focusing on teaching them about You?”  

I’ve always talked about how I would rather have quality over quantity with friends and the friends I do have I consider my family.  I hope this doesn’t make me sound greedy or rude. But I want more friends.

My husband and I don’t have a lot of money so we struggle with going out with friends or going on vacations with friends.  My heart breaks and a lot of times I’m embarrassed or ashamed because we can’t afford to go out to eat when invited or out for drinks. 

This is where my husband and I struggle is making friends.  My husband is very much content with sitting at home watching TV, being alone.  That’s who Craig is, there is nothing wrong with this.  I’m an extrovert and become depressed if I don’t have enough adult interaction.  And this past week has been hard. It’s been work and kids all week.  

I see my friends all over Facebook going out with friends and having fun all summer.  I don’t get invited to go places with friends.  But this is ALL MY FAULT.  I sit at home and moan and whine about my friends having fun and making memories but I don’t go when I am invited because “my kids were naughty, or I have too much work to do, or just plain I didn’t or don’t want to do.”  So being alone is all my fault.

I love people but I also struggle with people.  This sounds so bad but I’m picky with who my kids and I hang out with.  I have this belief with you are who you hang out with.  I always struggled growing up with hanging in the wrong crowd and now that I’m older I want to be surrounded by the good people.  I know by now I’ve dug my whole and you all think i’m a bad person.  But just hear me out.  

As a female, making friends is the hardest thing ever.  The stigma of being a good mom, who does more with there kids, who has nice clothes, which church do you go to.  And this is where I fight myself.  I judge myself so badly against other women that I ruin myself.  So like I said before when I see my friends going to get Mani and pedis together but I can’t afford it, I become overly jealous because they can afford it and have money to do things like that.  This is that point I think we forget we as mothers need to pray.  

Praying for something like friends or help with coveting is something we forget we should do.  Or even when we feel alone.  

 

Lord, I have been trying to do this friendship thing on the surface for far too long.  You alone know my heart and my longing for relationship, but You alone also know the walls I have built between myself and others.  So, Lord, today I come before you asking for meaningful friendships.  Ones that endure. I pray for friendships transformed by Your presence.  Ones that stir each other to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another. (Heb 10: 24-25). Ones where we warn each other of sin (1 Thes 5: 14), yet mourn and rejoice with each other, as well (Rom 12:15). Friendships that live out loving well by caring each other’s burdens (Gal 6:2) and caring for each other’s practical needs (Rom 12:13, Heb 13:16). Lord I ask you for humbleness in these friendships so that together we can confess our sins and pray for one another, that we may be healed.  That together we are righteous and our prayers have great power (James 5: 16). Lord, so that I may be sharpened for you, I ask for friendships that sharpen me just as iron sharpens iron (Prov 27: 17). In this moment, I give You my heart and the walls I have built around it. I surrender my fears, my insecurities, and my control issues. Let me be the friend of Your design and bring to me those friends who are of that same design. In Your precious and holy name I pray. Amen

Untitleddocument  (this is the printable prayer)

 

Print this prayer put it beside you’re bed, in your bathroom, Pray it.  Me and You lets step out of the stigma of moms and women and make friends.  Lets let our kids see that making friends is easy and having friends is important.  Being there for them in all times and sticking by each other.  Telling each other our hurts and being real.  Stop the stigma of perfect mommying and just remember we all raise our kids differently and that’s okay but also respecting the way we all raise our kids differently. (If that made sense)  

Yes I want more friends but I also want friends that God gives me, so trust Him and trust you’re feelings.  Pray. Talk. Listen. 

You will have those days where you feel so alone so call on Him to fill you up.  

 

Enjoy your friends, and family.  Life is short.  Laugh and Love.

Asenath XoXoX…

Marriage

When The World Tells You No…

When it comes to life I’ve heard “No” (in plenty of different forms), plenty!  Especially when it came to my marriage! 

When Henry and I met I was only 18. I had just moved to Iowa, and felt like I was invincible. We dated for a very short amount of time before he asked me to be his wife! Four months to be exact, and our engagement wasn’t much longer. 

We were both young and pretty sure we knew everything! 


I scrimped together what little money I had an moved to Kalona, to live on my own for the very first time. I got a job at the restaurant beneath my apartment that barely paid the bills. I slept on an old couch of Henry’s because I didn’t own any furniture.  And in my one bedroom windowless apartment I began to plan a wedding to the man of my dreams!


We picked a date, we chose wedding colors, we hired our photographer, we picked bridesmaids and groomsmen, we had food covered, we were well on our way! When it came time to pick the person who would marry us, I felt we got one no after another. 

One wouldn’t marry us because he was sure we were living together. (Not that it matters, but we weren’t.) 

Many others were convinced we were doomed before we started. 

Finally we found someone who would marry us! But not without voicing their concerns, fears, and opinions. Some of which had to do with them also thinking that maybe the two of us getting married wasn’t a good idea. 


We had family refuse to come to our wedding because we couldn’t possibly last. We wouldn’t make it a year. They wouldn’t support me nor the man that was becoming my husband.

We have been compared to our parents on multiple occasions. My mom had children by different men, my dad has been married more than once. Henry’s parents don’t have a perfect relationship either. We’ve heard the sins of the father sermons on more than one occasion. 

We have three beautiful children together, and help each other care for my handicap brother now. We’ve built a life together. We’ve experienced life together! We’ve helped each other through grief, and sorrow, through sickness. He’s held my hand and helped me through labor! I’ve held him as he’s cried! I’ve encouraged him, and he’s supported me! 


Life hasn’t been perfect! The world has tried to reach its cold hands of distruction into our marriage and has tried to tear us apart! We haven’t always gotten along, we’ve had stupid fights about spoons! We’ve always chosen to love one another even when we “didn’t feel like it”! We’ve pushed back every time Satan has tried to pull! 


We decided that our parents sins didn’t have to be ours! We may be strongly pulled in that direction but we have the choice to fight back and say no! We went into this marriage without divorce being an option, and even today it’s still something that will never be on our table! Not divorce, not separation, not time away for a while. We’re in it for the long haul, Henry’s stuck with me and I with him! 


Today and everyday will will continue to fight for our relationship! The cold harsh fingertips of the world will continue to be met with the fire of a burning love, Satan will be met with a God led marriage! 

In a little over a month, Henry and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary! And let me tell you, unless God calls one of us home it won’t be the last one we celebrate! 


So lovelies when the world tells you No, and comes to pull your marriage apart, push back!! Fight for it! Choose love! Put God first and let him lead! 
XOXO 

Drena